Cassandra and Star Wars

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The articles of Cassandra Crossing I'm under license CC BY-SA 4.0 | Cassandra Crossing is a column created by Marco Calamari with the “nom de plume” of Cassandra, born in 2005.

After Cassandra's article on streaming detox, we decided to make an anthology on the topic of Star Wars, recovering some of his old prophecies on the topic. There are five in total: Star Wa(r)s, Star Wars: Season I Episode 1, Grand Moff Tarkin, return to us!, Stellar Massacres And Episode IX: Droid Hacker.

Enjoy the reading!

This article was written on 04 December 2015 from Cassandra

Cassandra Crossing/ Star Wa(r)s

In 1977 Star Wars was A New Hope. Almost 40 years later, Cassandra imagines The Force Awakens.

Among the little facts that Cassandra willingly dusts off, perhaps to show off true culture in some limited fields, there is the screening of Star Wars IV "A new hope", the film that back in 1977 materialized the dreams of every science fiction enthusiast “literary”, where due to the quality of the creation science fiction became “reality” and the immediate consequent suspension of disbelief allowed for incredible enjoyment of the story.

Cassandra, with stars still in her eyes, watched the credits until the end, then when the lights came on, without even thinking about it she remained seated and enjoyed the show for the second time in a row.

Now this is not the place to dust off the thousand anecdotes related to the Star Wars saga, the "Extended Universe", gadgets, lightsabers and more. Cassandra makes prophecies by profession and, after having booked a central place at 4.30 pm on December 16th for the "premiere" of Episode VII, she will make a real prophecy today, that is, something that has not yet happened, but which will be very verifiable in the near future. a few days from everyone, just like what happened to the Trojans. Some premises (or rather many) are necessary as usual, and will also serve to explain the title of this little page, which can be translated as "Star Wars as it was".

So let's talk about Episode IV for a moment. I'm not going to impress you on the peculiarity of the numbering, a minimum of culture on the mathematics of the episodes should be taken for granted, but if you're really in a bad situation, if you're missing the "fundamentals", stop and read here before continuing.
The production of Episode IV was a saga in itself, guided through a thousand problems with a masterly hand by an enlightened director/author/screenwriter/producer, who had also assembled a troop of debutants, underpaid but for the most part enthusiastic. Lucas suddenly became rich because, when he offered the film to executives at 20th Century Fox, they, evidently less than enthusiastic, offered to finance only 50 percent of the production. Making a virtue of necessity, Lucas mortgaged his house and began using tricks to reduce the budget. Perhaps one of the lesser known is the Alec Guinness cachet. Lucas, who needed an excellent and possibly very famous actor for the most important part of the film, contacted among others Alec Guinness. Sir Alec's love-hate relationship with Lucas and the character of Obi-Wan Kenobi is still the subject of discussion today, while his business acumen certainly is not. Sir Alec in fact negotiated a fee of only one thousand dollars, to which however add two percent of the film's gross takings. Lucas, in an expensive but farsighted manner, accepted, and Sir Alec with a few minutes of excellent acting divided into 3 films, took home in one fell swoop much more than the earnings of his entire career: it is said 95 million dollars.
Lucas also became rich, with much more work, of course, but also much more (48 percent of the gross takings plus other films, plus merchandising...) and he too in one fell swoop, for having been neglected by the majors, became a major himself. And perhaps this explains the beginning of a slow decline... Lucas' original script called for a single film, but it was immediately clear that there was too much material, and so he broke it first into three episodes, then into three trilogies. He had another stroke of genius in starting from the medium, fascinating the viewer with a story full of references to unknown facts and things and therefore even more fascinating: what is the “Clone Wars”? And this “Dark Side”?

Episode V was unfortunately entrusted to another director by Lucas, who relegated himself to the role of producer and deus ex machina: nice, but a film necessarily without rhyme or reason.

Episode VI is probably the most fascinating of the sequels, with a beginning, an end and Lucas' hand resting more on the rudder.

Luckily for us, a lazy Lucas, bled dry by the very expensive divorce from his wife, abandoned the insane idea of not continuing the saga, but instead of developing the third trilogy chronologically he wisely opted for a leap into the past by moving on to the first, which would have allowed him in the end the beautiful reunion of Episode III. Episode I is unfortunately the worst of the series, with Jar Jar Binks taking over and boring everyone to death just to show how good they are at Industrial Light and Magic. The sleigh race and the absolutely useless omnipresence of Jar Jar Binks who, despite being the first realistic synthetic actor in a film, makes you laugh as much as Battleship Potemkin and is as expressive as a pile of stones, make Episode I a film suitable for children a little dumb, just like in the case of “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”. Do we then want to keep quiet about the reduced Strength, with the unfortunate invention of midi-chlorians, from a mysterious entity to a simple blood test? Curtain.

Episode II is complex, finally the pieces left hanging in the previous four films begin to fall into place: the viewer feels at home, and perhaps the story is even too dense. Good.

Episode III: everything comes together, and this ties up the story a lot and prevents any surprises. It could have been a great film, but Lucas, by now perhaps too full of himself and probably surrounded by crowds of yesman, cuts some key scenes (you can find them in the extra contents of the DVD edition), focusing everything on special effects. Thus the story becomes almost incomprehensible in its "political" part, and the very long final duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan takes up precious time and even becomes boring. Good, despite these glaring screenplay errors.

None of these films manages to have the magic and effectiveness of Episode IV: "in fact it is impossible - some of the 24 unprepared readers will say - the sequels are always less beautiful than the first episode". It's not necessarily true: take for example the first and second episodes of the "Alien" saga. But what happened recently? Well, for various reasons, not least the fact that almost 40 years have passed, Lucas sold to Disney, a well-known multinational full of money, but in the past almost destroyed by the "family" management of Walt's nephew, Roy Disney, despite the earnings of Mickey Mouse and Disneyland. Having put Roy aside and moved like a commercial multinational, through the creation of Touchstone Pictures and the purchase of Pixar (bought together with the always "behind the scenes" genius of John Lasseter and Ed Catmull) in 2012, Disney Pictures became " bought” Star Wars (or rather LucasFilm), replenishing Lucas' bank account by 4 billion (yes, billion) dollars, but relegating him to the role of “creative director”. As expected, in the three years that have passed since then Lucas , which perhaps deluded itself into being able to somehow guide the story of the new episodes, was completely ignored, and even Disney clearly and publicly announced that the "new course" of Star Wars will have completely "original" stories, characters and scripts , that is, without any contribution from the aged and weakened but sole author of the "magic". As the 24 intuitive readers will have already understood, we have arrived at the prophecy, or rather the prophecies, obviously of misfortune.

The natural discontinuity of the saga, in which from episodes VI to VII the majority of the characters are dead, the majority of the actors have aged unacceptably, scarred or withdrawn and the authors (although very good) are no longer the same and above all do not have the same autonomy, together with the fact that the real guidance is dictated by a board of directors, they will transform Star Wars into something similar to the television series that are now replacing films as a source of income for production companies. A Babylon V of noble origins, but increasingly boring. The stories will be watered down, the characters will be built on polls, on public tastes, what worked will never be changed and creative innovation will be outlawed by law. Maybe they will introduce parallel timelines, as in "Lost" or "Fringe", an excellent and widely used narrative trick to lengthen the plot. So Episode VII will probably be a "watchable" film (like Episode V) but then a slow decline at the rate of one episode a year until, like Aladdin, everyone will have become bored with the characters. The only hope for redemption would paradoxically be that of a sensational flop of Episode VII, followed by the decision to give carte blanche to a the only person of genius for any decisions on Episode VIII and following. Cassandra would propose John Lasseter. But alas, Episode VIII is already being made "parallel" to Episode VII, like episodes II and III of "Back to the Future", and the results will probably be equally poor.

Cassandra, poor thing, can only make prophecies of doom, while the soul of the university student who watched Episode IV twice in a row way back in '77 he really hopes that at least this time Cassandra is wrong.

This article was written on December 17, 2015 from Cassandra

Star Wars: Season I Episode 1

Cassandra attended the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The prophecy has come true: Lucas is no longer there, the Force is dormant.

And so it was that Cassandra, at 4pm sharp, found herself at the cinema at the premiere of Episode VII, equipped with Yoda's lightsaber hidden in the sleeve of her jacket (she was sure to fit) and accompanied by her trusty padawan.

Why is Yoda hidden up his sleeve? Well, a bit of concern about possible anti-terrorism checks (really!) and things like that. However, no one pays any attention: already a hundred people are wandering around the enormous semi-deserted multiplex. I am pleased to notice a young couple in costume (but were they born at the time of Episode IV?) and I am reassured by seeing other lightsabers (only three). Fortunately, none of the staff gets away with it. Let's leave aside respectful sword-drawings, games, tricks and jokes, few but pleasant, and let's get to the point.

As the 24 intelligent readers have already guessed from the title, this is not the first film of the third trilogy, but the first installment of a series inspired by Star Wars, technically well done, with well-known actors over sixty.

It is trivial, after having seen the film, to carry out a chopping operation, removing all the scenes which are high resolution versions of identical scenes from the II trilogy (IV, V and VI) to see what remains. Once you have removed the pieces you have already seen, what remains? Nothing remains. They are all tried and tested pieces extracted here and there from the 3 films and carefully put back together. No story.

Dozens of lines literally repeated, good stitching of scenes, great reuse of settings. Jakku is identical to Tatooine, the new emperor looks like Voldemort's stupid brother and the tavern scene doesn't make you smile even a little. Only one decent line: “Now we'll run away, hugs later”. A truly terrifying one: "R2D2 went into power saving mode, and hasn't moved since." If you have two hours to smile and you go there without expectations, the film is visible but Lucas, really, is no longer there . Even Episode I was more convincing. There will be box office success, obviously. Compared to other superhero films that have hit the jackpot there is no comparison: it's not a great merit.

But the magic is over. For Cassandra it was an easy prophecy.

This article was written on December 16, 2016 from Cassandra

Grand Moff Tarkin, return to us!

Rogue One required the presence of one of the indomitable villains of the Saga. Peter Cushing revives in CGI for Star Wars, and it gives you chills.

Today's title might suggest that Cassandra, perhaps without a lightsaber and a little stealthily, was unable to resist her own prophecies, and went to see the first spin-off of an immortal (even if defunct) saga. The 24 independent readers will be perfectly able to form their own personal opinion on the matter.

But let's assume for a moment that it's true: then who is Tarkin and why talk about him?

The Grand Moff Tarkin, for friends "Wilhuff" is the Star Wars character who commands the Death Star in Episode IV.

He's a really tough guy, considering that other than the Emperor, he's the only being in the universe who has ever given orders to Darth Vader and been obeyed. In comparison, the hobby of blowing up planets is a joke.

In the film he should have been played by the great Christopher Lee, the most brilliant and inflated vampire in the history of cinema.

But for some reason, when a then humble Lucas, hunting for celebrities to make cameos in his little film, offered him the role, Lee declined but instead suggested his colleague and friend Peter Cushing.

The great Peter Cushing, which any enthusiast of film teratology knows intimately, and who has played all the most disturbing parts that post-war fantasy cinema has offered. Lee then made a comeback in Episode III as Count Dooku.

Well, the presence of Grand Moff Tarkin in the aforementioned spin-off could not be omitted. “What's strange if in 2016 they had an actor who had passed away in the meantime play the usual role? — someone will ask — By now computer graphics have accustomed us to everything..."Well, well, well it's not quite the same."

Meanwhile, Cassandra hasn't seen (oops... she gave herself away) much progress for artificial actors.

The progress seen from “Polar Express” to “Beowulf” was notable, but from Beowulf to Tarkin you don't see as big a difference, even if the skin pores are well made (but perhaps too many). Remember when it was difficult to reproduce in CG hair, and then once the problem was solved we continued for years with protagonists who always had thick hair? Now, perhaps for the same reason, Tarkin seems to suffer from acne…

But let's get back to the serious questions. The problem that Peter Cushing's clone opens up is not trivial. After paying the bill to the excellent special effects technicians, who gets the actor's fee?

To the heirs, perhaps only the testamentary ones?

To wife and children or to all relatives?

Who can decide to sell, or even give away, not only the image of a man but also his being, his "job" as an actor.

Certainly in this particular case hordes of lawyers will have already resolved even the smallest legal detail in advance.

You will say that actors "sell" themselves every day even when they are alive, so what is strange if someone else then sells them even when they are dead?

Since both Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee had a lot of experience with the "undead", a lot of jokes could be made by involving Dracula and the Wolfman.

But instead the idea of an actor "sold" dead is enough to give Cassandra a little shiver, even if it were Jerry Lewis.

But it's just one of Cassandra's usual ruminations: don't worry too much, and enjoy what you can of the film.

This article was written on December 22, 2017 from Cassandra

Stellar Massacres

The usual heretical commentary on the latest episode of the Star Wars franchise (WARNING: contains spoilers as big as the Death Star; sailors warned...).

Even if with little enthusiasm, could Cassandra avoid watching “The Last Jedi”? Certainly not. And so, neglecting to go to the "premiere" anyway, Cassandra went to pay her donation to Disney, being able to watch a well-made film in return. Visible. At times pleasant. But nothing more. Indeed, the subsequent digestion of the film just seen led to rather negative considerations, which you will bear with here.

It was evident since “The Force Awakens”, that is, two episodes ago, that the Disney intended to transform the visionary saga of the Star Wars films in an industrial product, in the first season of a pseudo-television serial.

Legitimate right, paid a whopping 4.3 billion dollars. But why do it this way, making both the old spectators and the characters themselves suffer needlessly? Why this massacre that has been going on for three films now?

In Episode VII Han Solo dies (probably at his request), the only character who has never shown a single trace of rust.

On the villains front (but hadn't the killing of Boba Fett taught us anything?) Grand Moff Tarkin dies in Episode VII, the only significant character after the disappearance of Darth Vader and the Emperor.

On the front of Coupons in Episode III all the Jedi except 3 have already been exterminated, and the only "good" one of substance, i.e. Padmé/Amidala/Natalie Portman has followed them.

In Episode VII, a decidedly disappointing good and bad character is introduced; I really can't accept the bad guy in particular, with his country cousin look and his protruding ears. In “Rogue One” the massacre is total; no new characters survive, and leaving I felt like after one of the bloodiest episodes of “Dexter”.

And finally, in Episode VIII he dies, unnecessarily, Luke Skywalker, who replaces Anakin in the Force, the latter also disappeared from it.

All the secondary characters of the Alliance are cleared away; from Admiral Akbar to the newly introduced and convincing Vice Admiral Holdo/Laura Dern. R2D2 is relegated to a cameo in favor of rounder and more agile droids. The Sith are given up as gone, only mentioned once. The only appreciable disappearance is that of the infamous Midichlorians, perhaps the worst idea that George Lucas ever came up with in his career. At the end of Episode VIII the only survivor of the saga is, tragically but also a little ironically, Leia/Carrie Fisher, recently disappeared, who apparently had also sold the posthumous rights to the material filmed but not used, in view of a possible posthumous and/or synthetic appearance in the next films. A recent press release from Disney clarified that this last cameo from the original saga was also will never see the light.Game over; there is no one left.

But perhaps it's better this way, the ghosts of Yoda and Luke will always be able to give a little something to the loyal and now elderly fans of the first hour of the saga, like the pessimistic but in this case easy prophet Cassandra.

The narrative future of the franchise of Star Wars, as well as the unlikely duo Rey/Kylo, remains entrusted to children who manage to sweep the courtyard with the help of the Force, a bit like Mickey Mouse did in the Sorcerer's Apprentice episode in "Fantasia".

But was this long suffering of 3 massacre films really necessary to reset the saga and start from scratch? A good ending couldn't be enough Episode VII for a similar turning point, clearer, less creepy and perhaps more suitable for a (possible) future success with the new generations?

Cassandra certainly would have preferred it.

This article was written on December 31, 2019 from Cassandra

Episode IX: Droid Hacker

A non-review of the final episode of the saga, which was already abundantly destroyed in Episode VII.

Cassandra didn't make it this time!

She managed to avoid "Solo: a Starwars story", helping to make it the first loss-making film of the franchise, but the imprinting, received in adulthood from the double vision of Episode IV 42 years ago, this time did not allow her to exempt yourself.

So yesterday evening, in the company of 3 other peers, she paid the donation of 10.50 Euros and sat through Episode IX, the final act of the saga as announced in 1977 by George Lucas, who explained that he had divided the original screenplay, which was too long and dense, in 9 episodes, of which the immortal “Star Wars: a new hope” was the fourth.

What can we say in a nutshell about Episode IX without giving spoilers?
Never so low; a film without rhyme or reason.

A young man, born around the time of Episode VI, told me that he quite liked Episode IX. I asked him if he could summarize the plot for me; he became thoughtful, and gave up.

WARNING: mini spoilers below.

The only thing to save from the whole film, perhaps the result of the residual hacker conscience of an under-sub-writer, is "Babu Frik: the droidsmith”, the droid hacker teddy bear.
Not so much because the episode is important, or because the character is fluffy.

The reason is that it is, according to Cassandra ed other commentators, of an allegory of the negative consequences of DRM - Digital Right Management systems, and their harmful effects on an entire society.
And also of the saving importance of hackers, at all times and in all places, even in a galaxy far, far away...

Droid hacking is nothing new; we find a timid example already in one of the video games of the Extended Universe, “Jedi: fallen order”.

But let's proceed in order.

In our reality, DRM seriously harm culture and the free circulation of knowledge, and the right to property of the things we buy.

In Episode IX they even lead to the destruction of a planet, Kijimi, and the death of all its inhabitants.

The situation: a dagger with an inscription has been found that reveals a secret indispensable for fighting the Sith.
However, the inscription is in the obscure ceremonial language of the Sith, so the golden android C3PO, who continually boasts of knowing 6 million forms of communication, is asked if he knows that too.

C3PO replies yes, but remains silent when asked to translate it.
He confirms that he understands the writing, but that he is unable to communicate the translation because his software contains an instruction, requested by the Galactic Senate, that does not allow him to do so, presumably to prevent the Sith from using captured androids as a tool for communicate with other species.

Just like with real DRM; even if we use it for a correct reason, being a wrong and diabolical tool, we obtain unforeseen and harmful consequences.

To try to overcome this situation, C3PO is brought to the planet Kijimi by the nefarious hacker Babu Frik.
After having partially opened and "spun" poor C3PO, Babu Frik communicates that he will be able to extract the information, but that the operation will completely erase C3PO's memory, which will then return to its default programming.

Moving scene, in which the droid agrees to sacrifice himself and says goodbye to his friends, then Babu Frik starts the hack and puts C3PO in a kind of diagnostic (or perhaps combat) mode in which his eyes turn red.
The android pronounces the translated sentence, then turns off, and after a few seconds restarts; he only knows how to repeat his standard greeting and no longer remembers anything or anyone.

For him there will be a happy ending, while for the inhabitants of the planet Kijimi there will not.

In fact, the Sith, having learned of the possibility that the writing could be translated, to block the leak of information, vaporized the planet with another particularly original and powerful DRM, a Star Destroyer equipped with the cannon previously owned only by the Death Star.

Deliberate allegory of the disastrous effects of the use of DRM on an entire society?

Perhaps an Episode IX “hack” that escaped the censorship of one of the biggest users of DRM?

Cassandra likes to think so; however, he has no qualms about using the episode to address the topic of DRM once again.
In fact, DRM is precisely the reason why Cassandra was created, with the release ofEpisode I by Cassandra Crossing, fourteen years ago.

Since then their danger has constantly grown.

The harmful consequences of DRM are today experienced by those who buy computerized objects such as cell phones, IoT, cars or tractors, and then discover that they are not the owner.

In this even Episode IX can therefore serve some purpose, and be the topic of theCassandra Crossing Episode CDXLVI!

Happy Holidays to everyone.

Marco Calamari

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